I’m a lesbian.
Well, not really.
After waking up this morning at approximately “way too early, I hate everyone” o’clock, I came to the sudden, much needed, not so much appreciated realization that the world probably thinks that I am a lesbian.
The sad part?
I can’t even argue it.
I own a fair amount of cut-offs, I have upper lip hair in certain (all) lighting, most days of the month, I am a hardcore man hater, and, I can admit, I’ve listened to the Indigo Girls a few times in my early, pre-pubescent days.
The only time I’ve ever had a boyfriend was in the fifth grade. Was it love? No. Did I pay him in cupcakes and desperation to be my boyfriend? Maybe.
Call it Newton’s Law, call it the Big Bang- by nature, I should be a lesbian.